House is the strangest film you’ve never seen

House theatrical poster as was displayed when the movie first came out

William Schneider, Reporter

While some movies are bad in a fun ways, this movie takes us straight to weird. We are not just dipping our toes in the waters of bizarre with this movie. We are outright diving into the marianas trench of strange.

Today’s movie is so strange it surpasses human comprehension and goes straight into the Twilight Zone. If aliens saw this movie they would leave not just earth, but the entire Milky Way galaxy, and never return.

Charles Manson would say this movie is too insane for him. I still can’t comprehend what I just saw. Consider this article not as a review, but as an eyewitness account. It is not told, it is experienced.

This movie managed to stay under the radar in popular culture due to its amazingly generic title. ​House. ​That title is so innocuous most people do not even notice it as a horror movie at first. It only got a resurgence in the early two thousands before getting an American release, almost thirty years after it theatrical run in Japan.

Even its plot is generic. It is basically about a group of girls staying at one of their aunt’s houses, only to find it to be haunted. Not much more than that needs to be explained. As for what you see occur, it is an entirely different story.

The movie is one hell of a special effects showcase. Everything from practical effects, to puppetry, to green screen, to background paintings are all present in this movie. The effects often look like someone made a moving collage. Apparently, this was due to the director asking his preteen daughter what she thought was scary, which explains much, as the movie looks and feels like a nightmare from a child’s perspective. He said that he did this because children think of stuff that is illogical and cannot be explained, which is very fitting.

  These are real stills from the movie. No, they’re not the most insane parts of it. This is such a surreal and unusual film that I can barely describe some of what happens.

There is a scene where a girl’s decapitated head flies out of a well and bites another on the rear end. There is another where a skeleton dances as another girl is eaten by a piano. Another involves a pair of legs flying from a ceiling light to kick a cat painting until it explodes and coughs up blood. I make up none of these sentences. This type of insanity is often reserved for acid trips or drawings by the criminally insane, but you can see it here in full color.

These are not the only instances of strangeness in the film. The whole movie is full of odd shots and directing decision. The first half of the movie feels less like a horror movie and more like a tween drama about schoolgirls. It always finds a way to go back to this cutesy tone. Even after the decapitated head scene mentioned above, it goes back to being bubbly again. The mood whiplash might just break your neck.

In spite of all of this, there is a lot to admire and like about this movie. With its wide array of special effects, it is an incredibly ambitious film. The seemingly cheap looking effects can actually make some scenes more creepy due to how otherworldly and reamlike they are.

You can’t predict what will happen next in this movie. All of the characters are unique and distinctive, which makes them fun to watch, even if the parts focused on them are slow in comparison to the rest of the movie. And when the movie picks up, it ​really ​ picks up. The direction and cinematography, although odd, can be quite beautiful at times when the movie calms down.

House ​is not movie for everyone, but I find that there is a lot to like about it. It is quite a unique movie, and is very fun to watch the absurdity and weirdness presented to us. It’s in its own little unique world, and I love movies like that. If you enjoy the weird, ​House ​is a must see. It is utterly devoid of grounding in reality, though, so be prepared for anything.